Middle Earth Model Railway

The two trains, East-bound Shire Intercity and the West-bound BRICK HST from Rivendell were passing each other when the monster carried out the unprovoked attack. The rear half of the Rivendell train was derailed and the Shire locomotive was pushed over onto its side, sustaining severe damage to its tender.

Mr Drongo Gamgee, 41, of Overhill, traveling to Buckland, said "I was just settling down to a nice cup of tea when there was this terrible hissing noise, followed by a great crash. There was complete devastation". Mrs Lobelia Gumption, who lives in a house overlooking the crash site, said "Me and my husband, Bert, was turning the compost when the sky went black and hairy. Then all of a sudden, like, everything went whoopsy-daisy. My Bert said 'that's a right daft way to run a railway'".

The driver of the HST declared that he would not proceed West of Bree again until something was done about Felix. His Union representative stated "This is absolutely unacceptable. We have been telling Shiretrack (the consortium that manages the track and signals for the whole railway system) that Felix posed a serious risk to public safety. They have done absolutely nothing about it! I will be discussing what action should be taken with my members tomorrow. Shiretrack's whole attitude is totally unacceptable. The whole thing is an obscenity".

The Public Relations Manager of Shiretrack, Mr Sackville Bagwash, stated, "I think we should look at this incident in its proper context. You have to take into account that the people after whom the trains' prime movers were named ('Celeborn' and 'Galadriel') were husband and wife."

The Board of the Shire Railway regrets the incident and apologises for any inconvenience caused.

The footplate crew of 'Galadriel' commented in a manner unacceptable on the printed page.